By Ken Merrel Appeared in Register-Guard
“In her groundbreaking best-seller “Reviving Ophelia,” Mary Pipher issued a call to action, urging parents to become more involved in their daughters’ lives. A psychologist with a background in cultural anthropology, Pipher is keenly aware of the social influences that are shaping not just adolescent girls, but children of all ages and their parents. Her down-to-earth stories of hope and resilience have inspired countless people to become more involved in their families and their communities.
For more than 30 years, the Oregon Social Learning Center has conducted research related to child development and the role of families in raising healthy, well-adjusted children. So it’s appropriate that the organization would sponsor a lecture by Pipher in Eugene today. Her message is that by banding together, Americans can overcome some of the dangerous social forces that are threatening their children. By strengthening families, they will in turn strengthen communities.
A similar idea is at work at the center, where research is based on the fundamental precept that parents are a primary agent of change in their children’s lives. The center provides science-based answers to questions about which parenting strategies are most and least effective. The organization has studied everything from parenting techniques for combating antisocial behavior
to effective training for incarcerated parents.
For anyone who doubts the importance of good parenting skills and an enriching home life, consider the situation facing a typical foster child — a child who, by definition, lacks the stable roots that many of us take for granted. The many challenges faced by such a child include higher rates of incarceration, drug abuse and poor mental health.
Through several research projects, Oregon Social Learning Center works with foster children of all ages to help them gain skills to navigate difficult circumstances. The center’s Kids in Transition to School Foster Care Project provides a boost to foster children entering kindergarten by teaching them early literacy skills, social skills and self-management techniques.
The program doesn’t just focus on kids, however, but includes foster parents — heroes in our community for their service to children and society. In this program, foster parents attend meetings where they learn ways to complement the program at home and monitor the behavior of their children. Children who have gone through the program were found to be more likely to show gains in reading and were better able to control their impulses.
While younger foster children often have difficulty paying attention, playing with others and acquiring basic learning skills, teenage foster kids face a different set of problems — including high-risk health behavior, substance abuse and poor school performance. The problems and their solutions may differ from foster child to foster child, but one measure that can be applied across the board is to reduce the degree of uncertainty and instability in these children’s lives — something that can come from a strong and supportive parent.
Inconsistent discipline, limited parent involvement and lack of supervision are strong predictors of delinquent and criminal behavior. These factors are found in other families that the center studies, ranging from children of parolees to children in two-parent, middle class families. It probably wouldn’t’t be much of a leap to suggest that all types of families could benefit from the information gleaned from the center’s evidence-based parent training programs.
The center’s research has found that offering clear, calm direction to your child and praising your child’s positive behaviors are two keys to successful parenting. When parents routinely practice good parenting skills, they are better prepared to handle chaotic and stressful times. Small but positive changes in our parenting will strengthen our children, families and communities.
During this time of economic uncertainty, the issues facing children and families — specifically children who are at risk for abuse, delinquency and failure to succeed in school — are more important than ever. Financial stress exacerbates many of the problems facing already-stressedout families trying to make ends meet and raise healthy and happy children.
For all these reasons, Pipher’s visit couldn’t’t be better timed — for our children, our families and our community. The power of Pipher’s message is that it reminds us that we are not alone. As we face the challenges of parenthood, childhood, adolescence and living in general, we simply need the strength of those around us.
In a piece she wrote for The Washington Post, “Seeking Peace in Our Worrisome World,” Pipher talks about the fact that despair is prevalent if not universal. But she reminds readers that so are ancient rituals of comfort and healing.
“We can lie in the grass like lizards and soak in the springtime sun,” she writes. “We can plant some pansies or tomatoes and visit with our neighbors. We can rock babies, lie down under the stars and walk along rivers.
“We can share meals and stories, and yes, we can share our pain and our love for each other.”
Ken Merrell is president of the Oregon Social Learning Center board of directors and head of the Department of Special Education and Clinical Sciences in the University of Oregon’s College of Education.
Reprinted with permission. Copyright 2009, The Register Guard